found the other keg... it's in the tree
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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