i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
