What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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