Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
