my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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