My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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