I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
