i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
