at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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