I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
