dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
