I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
