I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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