After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
