You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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