Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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