I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
