does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
