I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
