im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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