you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
