i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
