Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she peed on how many people?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
