Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
