i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just invented taco cereal.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I will pee on everything he values.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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