well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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