In the future we'll all be gay
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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