Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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