i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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