Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
