morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
