I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
