What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
