Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
