what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
