what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
