Dual....:-)
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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