So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
