Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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