Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
