Its about making memories worth repressing
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
