How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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