VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
