After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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