You made me cry and you don't even care
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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