Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
