tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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