It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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