Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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