no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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