Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
