I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
